and that’s pretty much everything you want to know about change.

Every time you step into the woods, the breeze encircles you and bares your gasps, loud into the presence and absence of everything. At first, you flinch, you waver, you look back for a return. But then you walk further and feel the earth digging into your toes. Whatever direction you walk, becomes ‘the’ path. YouContinue reading “and that’s pretty much everything you want to know about change.”

the fumble for a path.

Tripping yet again upon a choice, you fear a trap. Unable to view the choice for the gift it is, you frown at the privilege, of having possibilities to pick from. But no, you are not being ungrateful. Rather, you know yourself. Your indecisiveness. Your impulsive decisions. Your sudden quirks. Your weird whims. Your idiosyncracies. Your screwed sense of direction. YourContinue reading “the fumble for a path.”

when you unbottle to unbother.

you watch the stars parcel you an invite into a night so perfectly pinned to the sky at its fuzzy dark corners that you don’t want to dim its beauty with your inhibition or dissipate its magic with your fear or ruin its romance with your indefinite whys and why nots so you ask reasonContinue reading “when you unbottle to unbother.”

15 days.

You realize in 15 days, what you never could, in all those 120 days of working. 15 days of not having a job or rent money or a backup or any kind of plan and still choosing to stay rather than giving it up all and running back where you started from. 14 days ofContinue reading “15 days.”

hanging in there.

It is difficult to unsee it once you see it, this magic beaded into your nerves, this power that stems from your soul, and once you do, you feel like you are high on your own depths. You have been called out ‘unproductive’ and ‘incapable’ and ‘undeserving’ of love, but you have also been calledContinue reading “hanging in there.”

‘normal’.

They tell you that you are not good enough, that you don’t fit in, that you don’t meet their expectations, that even though you have been putting in efforts, this ‘you and they’ thing is not working anymore. Funny, that is also how your relationship panned out in the end. ‘It is not working.’ HeContinue reading “‘normal’.”

toppled utopia.

You watch the steam rising from the coffee, and you are not sure if it is trying to defy the rain, or dissolve into it. You clutch the cup harder, raise it closer to your lips, allow the warmth to permeate all your senses, unspool every thread of thought inside you, assault every cell of yourContinue reading “toppled utopia.”

revelation.

You don’t know what’s real anymore. You come back home exhausted from a job that hardly feeds your soul, rather it crushes it, moulds it like plastic into forms you cannot recognize anymore. No, don’t get scared, it’s not a bad job to start with. Atleast, it’s not one of those jobs that are physicallyContinue reading “revelation.”

rock bottom.

You know, your mind is muddled with clutter this very moment and would unabashedly remain so, for all the yet-to-arrive, be-here-soon moments, and “it is going to be alright” sounds too cliched to even believe in, anymore. You know that you are so petrified of losing everything that you make endless lists in your phone’sContinue reading “rock bottom.”