Tripping yet again upon a choice, you fear a trap. Unable to view the choice for the gift it is, you frown at the privilege, of having possibilities to pick from.
But no, you are not being ungrateful.
Rather, you know yourself. Your indecisiveness. Your impulsive decisions. Your sudden quirks. Your weird whims. Your idiosyncracies. Your screwed sense of direction. Your ambiguity. Your failed sense of judgement. It’s all happened in the past!
So, fear paralyzes you at the crossroads.
It’s funny when you get lost on your way and accuse the GPS of betrayal every time. But alarming when you have no idea what you’re doing, where you’re heading. In life.
Wedged between what to do and what not to do, you are scuttling through cities, flipping over jobs, tipping on the edge of aspirations and apprehensions.
But then, you have never been a calculative one. You would never weigh the pros and cons in and out. You wouldn’t tread lightly over gunpowder.
You have always been this frivolous, this turbulent, whose impulse would flutter like butterflies refusing to be bottled up, who would shrug all conscious rationale, at one bend of intuition, at one slant prick of psyche.
And so, even knowing the magnitude of impending change that will rock your world, may be, even upend it, you turn the page to the next chapter of the book, and watch anxiety melt into excitement!
Okay, you might be clueless. But you are not naive.
You attempt to sketch your own path.
You realize that, you yourself are the anchor to your chaos. You might be the epicenter of your quakes but you yourself are your recovery guide too.
You have this storm raging inside you. And you use it to arm yourself to meet the one brewing in the outside world.
And even if it churns you to dust, and you end up gutted under the rubble, you would not fold your cards. You would rather choose to learn from your mistakes.
It’s hard, daring to defy the odds. But you have this thing knotted in your memory that you can’t forego.
This moment is all that’s there to live, and whatever you choose to do right now will become what you will have ever done at all.